Funny stories about lawyers and attorneys

After my first funny stories hub which was about politicians I had to write another one but this time about lawyers (I just hope Stephhicks won´t be mad with me after this one LOL).

I guess it is just like politicians, everybody say bad things about them but in the end we love them because they inspire us to write funny stories or jokes.

And among many rotten "fruits" there are always good ones and they deserve our respect.

So if you ever encountered a bad lawyer now it is time to read the next stories like he was the protagonist in them.

Lawyer:

is the person that saves your properties from your enemies and keep them all to himself.

A Policeman asks a driver to pull over:

- "Good afternoon Mr. driver. Documents please."

Lawyer - "But why Mr. Policeman?"

Policeman - "You didn´t stop in the STOP sign."

Lawyer - "I have slowdown and no one was coming..."

Policeman - "Right. Documents please."

Lawyer - "But what is the difference between slowdown and have to stop?"

Policeman - "The difference is that the law says that a STOP sign means the car must stop completely. Documents please."

Lawyer - "Listen, I propose you the following: if you could explain me the legal difference between slowdown and stop I´ll give you the documents and you can fine me. Otherwise you will let me go without a fine."

Policeman - "Well, I accept. Can you please get out of the car?"

The lawyer agreed and got out from the car. The Policeman started to beat violently the lawyer with his stick. After a while he asks:

- "Do you want me to STOP or maybe you prefer I just SLOWDOWN?"

In a small village court the lawyer for the prosecution called his first witness. A very old lady and grandmother stood in place and the lawyer began to ask:

- "Mrs. White do you know me?"

She answered:

- "Of course, I know you. I know you since you were a little boy and frankly you have undeceive me. You have always been blatantly, you cheated on your wife, manipulate people and badly discourse them when they leave. You think you're a great personality when you do not even have enough intelligence to avoid being scanned. Of course I know you."

The lawyer was white not knowing what to do. After thinking for a while he pointed to the other end of the room and asked:

- "Mrs. White do you know the defense attorney?"

The old lady responds rigth away:

- "Absolutely. I also know him since his childhood. He is a looser, has problems with drink and can not have a normal relationship with anyone, and as a lawyer... He is the worst one I have seen in my entire life. I also want to mention that he fools his wife with three different women, one of which, curiously, is your wife. Yes, I know him too. Absolutely."

The defender was in shock. The judge then asked both the lawyers to get closer to the bench and with a very weak voice he said to them:

- "If any of you two happen to ask the old goat if she knows me, I swear I´ll put you both in jail!"

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I will appreciate your comments and suggestions for my next funny hubs ;)

Oh, and if you enjoyed this one please do not forget to rate it, thanks.